i came home from doing laundry tonight 4 minutes past curfew, which in turn may have terminated my scholarship funding. my parents will be pissed, but i didnt do anything i feel was wrong. this is the second time ive been suspended in 3 months. he always uses me during games but suspends me from practice. then i have to wake up at 445am and be down at the field to run 50 hills and 10 suicides. my legs are getting so much stronger though. im actually improving more from being suspended than i was practicing with the team everyday.

the only game he suspended me from was Tuscaloosa, which is one of my favorite teams to play. ive been practicing with simon alot and im getting so much better on my corner kicks and accuracy with my right foot.

its wednesday which makes me think about how i used to go to church all the time. i havent been since like last year. i might go again soon.
i met this guy in the gym the other day, named brandon. he's really hot, but i can totally read him and what he wants. we worked out and talked. first things first i told him about adam and that made him even more interested in talking to me.

guys are shitty. hahhhahah

id just hope adam would to the same if in a similar situation.

skyy higgh

minday crowe and snoffskin

mindy called her friend adam that she insisted i meet. she told him to come to barnesville in which he responded, maybe. 30 minutes later he showed up. tomorrow night, party at his house and i got an invite.

i think i might make this guy be my first boyfriend.

first date tonight.
went to buffalo's cafe, had dinner, and then went to his house where we got down and dirty.
sike.
but i did dye his hair and it left my fingernails looking dirty and gross.
school is hectic and soccer, even though its not season is demanding alot out of me. i dropped algebra,...again.
backroads with john and my head has a heartbeat.
i sat down to update, like really really update this, because i never do. but im exhausted and im wanting to get up early and get laundry out of the way.

mac called...random.

i cannot believe my weakness. my inability to pull myself from the situation that left me with this cold empty feeling. i went to a mutual friend who proved to me that money and paid brothership stand stronger than 10 years of paying dues with sincerity and love.

im ashamed and embarassed and sore.
....and he said 'call me'.