last night i spent the evening at the beach
in good company
the breeze couldnt have been more perfect
nor the weather
i cant stop smiling
about
everything
the good and the bad
it seems like my life
fell apart and put itself back together
in perfect timing.
ive learned to be happy with someone
all the while focusing on myself
and
my needs.
no demands, only respect.
and if it falls apart this time
my whole life wont.
thank you for being selfless, my friend.

my own prison

seems like yesterday,

i was stuck in the back of someones

hand

me

down SUV

in college

listening to a song about

someone being in their own prison.

i hated that song.

but i have a respect for lyrics.

no matter if the music is my style or not

someone is saying something

its a message millions of people hear

and never seem to appreciate.

today i put myself out there.

not for something

i

love.

but for something i like.

something i want.

if it turns me down.

heres to being free

of my

own prison.

this has been such an interesting year
i love learning myself
im stressed beyond belief right now
but amazed at how composed i am
im reaching all new levels of strength i didn't know i had
its incredible
everything in my life is so versatile
i love it

ive used this blog everso vaguely the past few years.
making foot notes here and there of life and living.
all having hidden myself from the world.

i think im ready to open up. let people know about this blog.

although suicide is a terrible thing, it is somewhat settling to hear
when someone has gone on a shooting rampage that they committed
suicide afterwards.
its better than them walking around in a jail cell paid for by me, for 30
years, living for free, only to get away with whatever they did on
an insanity plea or just dying of old age in jail.
barter and trade, eye for and eye...those were the days i would love to live in.

its a whole schmorgishborg of feelings; all of them good.

i absolutely cannot wait to see what everyday has to say.

nyc and raye.
time of my life.
i finally met the talented, sara renee
and toured to school of my dreams.

life fell apart and now its coming back together.
i love my best friends and even my not so best friends.

this year has been amazing so far and every person ive
opened myself up to has proven to be worth it.
im comfortable with me but striving to be better.

my life has balance, and even when it doesn't...
i smile.